


Maybe He's a Cat?

by Reecey



Category: Outside Xbox - Fandom, Outside Xtra
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 07:50:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10485891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reecey/pseuds/Reecey
Summary: Mike thinks Luke may be a cat, Andy thinks this is ridiculous.





	

“You know, guys, I think Luke might be- what are you two doing?” Mike asked in a verbal handbrake turn as he walked into the break room.

 

“What does it look like we’re doing?” Jane replied, “we’re playing chess.”

 

“Too many video games,” Andy said sadly, “rots the brain.”

 

Jane nodded sagely.

 

“I can see that, but what I _can’t_ see are any white pieces.”

 

“Oh, yeah, neither of us wanted to use them, the white pieces look _lame_ ,” Jane explained.

 

“Don’t worry though, we got two different novelty chess sets, threw away the white pieces and combined them. So we know which pieces are which,” Andy added, stroking his beard as he considered his next move. “We’re not idiots.”

 

Mike considered his options, and went with the path of least resistance.

 

“Okay, fair enough, but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

 

“Oh yeah, something about Luke, right?”

 

“Yeah, I think he might be a cat in a really convincing person costume.”

 

He peered around surreptitiously, by twisting around as far as he could.

 

“What makes you say that?” Jane asked, giving him the most disbelieving look she could manage.

 

“Well, for starters, I found him sitting in one of the cardboard boxes in the storage cupboard yesterday, and when I asked him why he just said ‘I fit’.”

 

“Yeah, but we’ve all done that, Mike,” Andy replied.

 

“I don’t know about you, but the last time I did that I was seven.”

 

“Really?” Jane asked, surprised, “I did it last week, but then again, I _did_ have seven Bacardi Breezers.”

 

“See? Hardly convincing, what else have you got?”

 

“Last week I was running some water for the kettle and Luke stood next to me, with no regard for personal space mind you, and stared at it, batting at it occasionally and then shaking his hand looking betrayed.”

 

“Well, that’s clearly evidence against your position, everyone knows cats hate water.”

 

“Yeah,” Jane agreed, nodding, scanning the board.

 

“And that time Ellen distracted him with a cat toy so she could go on about _Kingdoms of Amalur_ in a video?”

 

“ _Kingdoms of Amalur_ is great!” a disembodied voice rang through the office.

 

“We know, Ellen!” the Outside Xbox team called back.

 

“Just making sure you knew!”

 

“Thanks Ellen!” Jane shouted.

 

“You’re welcome!”

 

“That just means he’s easily distracted,” Andy rationalised.

 

“By thin air? Because that’s happened, ruining a more than a few good takes.”

 

 Andy waved this away.

 

“These things happen. Happened to me just the other day after I had all those coffee slash five hour energy depth charges.”

 

“No, Andy, that was you _hallucinating_ , remember?” Jane pointed out, “we had to take you to a doctor and it took a team of highly skilled professionals an hour to convince you that the Reapers weren’t actually attacking?”

 

“Oh, right, yeah. But my point remains valid.”

 

“How?” Mike demanded.

 

 _Just let him win this one_ , Jane mouthed.

 

“Because he might have little… hallucinations? No! Floaters! He has those floater things and they’re really distracting.”

 

Mike rolled his eyes.

 

“Fine, but it doesn’t explain that one time he slowly moved across a room while keeping in the range of a shaft of sunlight while sleeping on the floor.”

 

“Okay, I admit that was weird, but the boy does need his vitamin D.”

 

“He is frightfully pale…” Mike conceded. “Well, I’m still not convinced. I’m going to keep tabs on him for a while just to be on the safe side.”

 

“Well, you’re being ridiculous, but it _is_ better to be safe than sorry.”

 

“Right,” Mike said with a little fist pump of determination, turning and leaving to look for Luke.

 

Andy finally made his move.

 

“Luke’s really _not_ a cat in a very convincing person costume, is he?” Jane asked, after hers.

 

“Of course not, can you imagine the assessments we would have had to get done? Would have been a nightmare.”

 

“Yeah, that’s true.”

 

Andy moved his queen.

 

“Headshot,” he smirked.

 

Jane moved her last bishop with a flourish.

 

“K.O.”

 

“Damn.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what you want from me, it seemed like a good idea at the time.


End file.
